Minimalizing

When I returned to my appartement in Vienna, unpacking my things and putting all that stuff in order that I put away when I left 4 months ago (and when I say „all that stuff“ I really do mean a ridiculous amount of stuff), I was overwhelmed by all those belongings and possessions and also I got to the conclusion that I might have suffered from serious compulsive hoarding disorder. ;)

I was living out of a 60 liter backpack for quite some time and more than happy with it, there was nothing that I was even missing. When it comes down to it, I don´t really need anything, that´s one of the most humbling and freeing realizations I have had in a long time.
When I saw all those things (a million different make up utensils, tons of clothes that would probably be enough to dress a whole class room, a ridiculous amount of books, electronic devices and other things that were just taking up space and not even being used most of the time) I started asking myself:

„What value does each one of those things actually add to my life?“ - The answer to that was me giving up 4 sacks of clothes for donation, throwing everything out that was not functioning as a tool in any way or giving some sort of aestetic value.

Every possesion we have should serve a certain purpose and/or bring us joy. It´s that easy. Everything else has to go. It´s unbelievable how we hold on to things, because we are afraid to get rid of them. („I really need this or might need it sometime in the future“) I´m not even starting to get into the whole fear-of-loss thing but you know where this is going...

Fear is the antithesis to freedom. Holding on to things you think you need will actually turn into those things owning you. Minimalizing everything I own felt really good and I will start asking myself now more often „does this add value to my life?“, no matter if its that dress, that friendship/relationship or that chocolate bar. 

- a chocolate bar ALWAYS adds value to your life though, this is obviously just a rethorical question in that case. :)

Home is where what is?

„We are young, so lets set the world on fire, we can burn brighter, then the sun“ is playing on the radio, smell of fresh hay is in the air and the sun is shining hot and steady. Sweet countryside.

I am sitting under an oak tree, smoking lady cigarillos and wearing a flowery dress whilst reading Herrmann Hesses Poetry.

Okay, this is a complete lie.

I am sitting outside my parents house, looking through tons of photos I took the past year and wallow in memories (I do wear a flowery dress though).

It´s been a long time since I have been at my parents place and everytime I am here- wich is not exactly more then once a year- I feel a bit nostalgic. I can´t help but surrender to all those dreams and ideas I had when I was living here as a little girl. Sometimes I think I lost her somewhere down the road but everytime I am here, I remember that girl well, sitting in mum´s strawberry field, day dreaming, skimming through GEO traveller, thinking about travelling the world and breaking away from hillbilly life.

Breaking away. Breaking rules, hearts, cars. So I did. Started travelling young and always wanted to go again ever since.

Now I am back here, appreciating this place where the clock seems to move slower so much more, but still having ants in my pants and a heart on fire wishing to grab my backpack and go back on the road.

Some things truly just never change.

(Those photos are just cheap cellphone snaps. Sorry.)