Minimalizing

When I returned to my appartement in Vienna, unpacking my things and putting all that stuff in order that I put away when I left 4 months ago (and when I say „all that stuff“ I really do mean a ridiculous amount of stuff), I was overwhelmed by all those belongings and possessions and also I got to the conclusion that I might have suffered from serious compulsive hoarding disorder. ;)

I was living out of a 60 liter backpack for quite some time and more than happy with it, there was nothing that I was even missing. When it comes down to it, I don´t really need anything, that´s one of the most humbling and freeing realizations I have had in a long time.
When I saw all those things (a million different make up utensils, tons of clothes that would probably be enough to dress a whole class room, a ridiculous amount of books, electronic devices and other things that were just taking up space and not even being used most of the time) I started asking myself:

„What value does each one of those things actually add to my life?“ - The answer to that was me giving up 4 sacks of clothes for donation, throwing everything out that was not functioning as a tool in any way or giving some sort of aestetic value.

Every possesion we have should serve a certain purpose and/or bring us joy. It´s that easy. Everything else has to go. It´s unbelievable how we hold on to things, because we are afraid to get rid of them. („I really need this or might need it sometime in the future“) I´m not even starting to get into the whole fear-of-loss thing but you know where this is going...

Fear is the antithesis to freedom. Holding on to things you think you need will actually turn into those things owning you. Minimalizing everything I own felt really good and I will start asking myself now more often „does this add value to my life?“, no matter if its that dress, that friendship/relationship or that chocolate bar. 

- a chocolate bar ALWAYS adds value to your life though, this is obviously just a rethorical question in that case. :)

Home is where what is?

„We are young, so lets set the world on fire, we can burn brighter, then the sun“ is playing on the radio, smell of fresh hay is in the air and the sun is shining hot and steady. Sweet countryside.

I am sitting under an oak tree, smoking lady cigarillos and wearing a flowery dress whilst reading Herrmann Hesses Poetry.

Okay, this is a complete lie.

I am sitting outside my parents house, looking through tons of photos I took the past year and wallow in memories (I do wear a flowery dress though).

It´s been a long time since I have been at my parents place and everytime I am here- wich is not exactly more then once a year- I feel a bit nostalgic. I can´t help but surrender to all those dreams and ideas I had when I was living here as a little girl. Sometimes I think I lost her somewhere down the road but everytime I am here, I remember that girl well, sitting in mum´s strawberry field, day dreaming, skimming through GEO traveller, thinking about travelling the world and breaking away from hillbilly life.

Breaking away. Breaking rules, hearts, cars. So I did. Started travelling young and always wanted to go again ever since.

Now I am back here, appreciating this place where the clock seems to move slower so much more, but still having ants in my pants and a heart on fire wishing to grab my backpack and go back on the road.

Some things truly just never change.

(Those photos are just cheap cellphone snaps. Sorry.)

Bangkok/ All good things come to an end

After 4 months of travel-fun in Thailand, Goa and Bali this journey was to come to an end for now. 

My last days I spent in Bangkok and oh my, what a reality check a big city can be! Since I have been spending the past months somewhere inbetween the beach, the jungle and dusty bumpy roads, the city came on quite strong. But wow, I love to get sucked in and lost in the chaotic mess of a big city once in a while. Bigger, louder, faster...

Bangkok to me is like a filthy whore. Dirty, smelly and trying to charge you for every step you take. There is some charm to it though, the street food is incredible, street art is cool and the young kids are some stylish fucks, too. If I wasn´t sometimes too shy to take pictures of other people  I would have loved to take photographs of all those fashion rocknrollers.

Usually I´m not to keen on tourist attractions. Of course, I went to some of the temples etc but to me exploring the city on my own is much more fun and even more culturally educating then going on a tourbus and hopping off at all those places the lonely planet calls „worth seing“. To me, travelling like this is just the way to go. Cut the tourist crap, eat some street food (get sick eventually haha), make local friends and ride the local busses, try to pick up some language. Not going the safe way is so much more fun and gives you authentic experiences. Why settle down for the artificial safe version when you can have the real deal?

So everything I did basically was walking around for miles and miles, looking at some street art, taking heaps of photos and soaking it all in. (So did my shirt. Went out white, came back home grey!)

Our mind; A burdon & a gift

In the past week there has been a storm coming up in the andaman sea due to monsoon season. The eastern part of Thailand wasn´t to be spared from the storm so we had heavy thunderstorms for the whole past week. I could find some magical beauty in this wild weather though, since it was nice and sunny all day and right on time in the afternoon the storms would come up, almoust predictably at 4 pm every day. Lightning and heavy rain are super cosy when sitting close to the beach or hiding in the jungle bungalow. I´ve always been a lover of thunderstorms and experiencing them in the jungle and close to the ocean is overwhelmingly beautiful. It shows you how strong nature really is. The turqouise ocean turns into deep black, the clear air turns into a wild and rainy shower from one second to another. Observing nature getting wild in this paradise-like scenery has something peaceful and overwhelming to it for sure.

Lately I have been getting back into my yoga practice and working on staying present instead of letting my mind drift back into the past or dreaming towards the future (not an easy thing to do for a dreamer like me). Obviously being fully present is the main „goal“ of meditation (oops I know, a real Yogi doesn´t talk about achieving something or setting goals but only focuses on their personal physical and mental edge without any judgement and expectation. so forgive me, dear yoga-community, I guess I wont get an A on this test) but instead of meditation I prefer to integrate this into my everyday life. Meaning, whenever my mind would drift off into stories, memories (past) and wishes/longings (future) I´d either observe my mind and let it flow wherever it wants to go without attaching to its thoughts too much, or shut it up as soon as I become aware of it starting to ramble. (It´s funny how our mind seems to have an opinion about everything)

I find it helpful to visualize my mind as a constantly growing tree. Be aware of your roots, grounded in the earth. Your thoughts are to be visualized as the trees branches, whenever those branches start to grow again, cut them down before they manifest into an uncontrollable jungle.

Once you become aware of the fact that most of the time your mind is building its own reality and telling you what you can and cannot do you will find yourself realizing that most of your alleged limitations are made up by your own mind. You will be suprised how your perspective changes once you turn it around and shut your mind up. Silence, relaxation and a full choice of opportunities will come your way, go and try yourself!

Light it up, inhale, lay back down, exhale, relax.

Stay sexy, lovers!

Attachment- Detachment

Eh kids, be alert. This will be a little bit of an emo-read. You wont find my usual cynicism to lighten it up in here so if you haven´t even had breakfast yet this might be a bit heavy :). 

Love. Sometimes she´s a snake biting you in the ass, sometimes she´s a goddess filling you with purity and bliss. She is never indecisive, she is always all the way. She may take your sanity, your ability to be rational and clear-minded. She may make you want to smash your fist against a concrete wall as hard as you can and she may make you want to coma out on pharmaceuticals just to have some piece and quiet. She may make you want to put food on top of your pain or choke your throat denying to eat at all. She may put the biggest child-like smile on your face and fill you with energy and lightness you never knew before. She may make you feel helpless and lost, she may make you also feel safe and calm in the most comforting way. She may make you need more and more, she may make you feel humbled and at piece. She may break you and she WILL fix you. Whatever the case is, she´s definately doing something to you. There will be no emptyness when she´s around. She may come around in a second or she may take her time and sneak in slowly.

All that doesn´t matter because it´s always her. The same thing we all strive for at the end of the day.

There is people who shut down, closed them selfes off, telling themselfes to not care because they are not capable to put any energy into actually feeling something at their state. There is needy people chasing it as their nurturing source of feeling themselfes, in search for love from any other person to filll their emptyness inside. De facto we´re all different kinds of shades of fucked up in a way, that´s just what the sweet little bitch called life does to us and it´s okay. We´ve been hurt and broken, and we will be again, many times. Inbetween we´ll also be recieving the gift of a beauty there is no words for. ( Well, there is, but this is already cheesy enough so I´ll not make this any worse in being literal about this haha).

A healthy open heart is rare but something we all should pursue to develope.

Our deepest and essential need is to connect, right? For someone who feels generally disconnected and misunderstood  (boohoo...) it´s something that doesn´t come around too often and if it does, you´d hold on to it and worship it, even if it´s time to let it go.

Unatached love is the key, that´s what the enlightened one says at least. I´m not sure if I believe in it but I guess being aware but not atached to your emotions definately is something to put on the to-do-list at least. 

( The one, „when I grow up then...“)

I haven´t been writing for quite some time but there was just no moment I felt like it. I spent my last 6 weeks in Bali, most of the time in the surf-spot Uluwatu/Padang Padang. I enjoyed it a lot, today it was time to leave back to Thailand though. Thanks Bali and all you great people I have met, I had heaps of fun with ya´ll. I´m sure I´ll be back so this is not goodbye but see you sometime soon.

PS: I miss the scooter insanity already. The rule is no rules except for the one: go as fast as possible and horn every other second. (Sorry mum) I got to drive like crazy without any consequences because it´s the way it goes, survival of the fittest on the dirty & bumpy roads of Bali <3.  

“Let everything happen to you
Beauty and terror
Just keep going
No feeling is final”
― Rainer Maria Rilke

Food P**rn/ Body Treatments

Asia is a rather spiritual place. Bringing the essential three  (body, mind, soul) /careful here, should I say the four (body, mind, soul, spirit) in balance, is nowhere as easily attempted (plus now and then succeeded) as here, since the birthcountries of Yoga, Ayurvedha, Meditation etc. are all in Asia where I have been travelling in on and off the past year.

I have been really enjoying to focus on experiencing how it feels to treat the body well regarding in what foods it takes in, indulging in traditional massage- and body treatments in one of the many blissfull spas and whitness the effects, this physical pampering has on the whole well-being, in body and in spirit.

Alert- eco-hipster-phrase: „My body is my temple“ actually IS a mantra worth striving for.

Since I´m a sucker for food (Yes, I actually stare at food sometimes like a starved kid from the 3^rd world country) I couldn´t help myself and had to take pictures of most of the meals I had so far (lucky you, I´m not on instagram joining the horribly anoying look-what-I-had-for-lunch-today cult).

Here are a couple of impressions of the menus I have come across here in Bali so far, easily done at home too, btw.:

• raw almond, fig, banana, raw cacao, flax oat soymilkshake
• cucumber, babyspinach, papaya, honey & fresh coconut water shake
• lavender water (spring water with organic lavender aroma)
• ginger, aloe vera, lime, honey, mint + soda
• babyspinach salad with beet, carrot, green onion, tofu, crispy tempe, freshky grilled seeds, with tahini dressing
• fresh fish (mostly barracuda, red snapper) in traditional balinese marinade with local vegetables and rice (sounds simple, is the most delightful barbercue you could ever imagine)

I have been trying a couple of different spa treatments- as they vary in quality (trained staff etc) and in facility (hygiene, flower decoration, service) they offer wonderful treatments, listen to this and try to stay calm:

• Traditional indonesian body treatment, famous javanese lulur: From secret traditional recipes from the ancient Javanese, a blend of turmeric, ginger and other spices are rubbed on the whole body to exfoliate the skin, followed by milk moisturizer, a favorite amoung the locals.“
• Bamboo treatment: „Warm bamboo treatment combination with Balinese, Lomi-Lomi & Herbal massage techniques, this deeply relaxing massage treatment will promote wellbeing, relieve stress, tension, simulate blood circulation and provide an unbelievable relaxing spa experience.“
• Hot Stone massage: It is a speciality massage that uses smooth, heated stones. They are often basalt, a black volcanic rock that absorbs and retains heat well. It is a deeply soothing, relaxing massage. The heat helps tight muscles release.“

Before you go plunder your fridge now, here a some impressions. Kiss on the lips, farewell.

Declaration of indivuality / Bali, you beautiful pearl

Recently I have recieved quite controversal reactions to my writing. I want to make clear, that this blog is for all those of you who care about me and are interested in what I experience throughout my travels, but it´s also a personal journal for my own use, a graphic and literal reminder of my experiences for myself. As you can tell, I don´t really filter what write here, you are welcome to follow this blog and recieve what I share with you. If you feel offended in any way or do not agree with my lifestyle I shall kindly suggest to put your own house in order first, before you judge people around you. If there is one thing we don´t need in this world, it is narrowmindendness and judgement, right? 

There are many different paths to follow and each one is the right one if you chose it for a right and healthy purpose. But make a choice, every day, every moment. Being aware and alert, living in the present- that´s what it is about, in my humble opinion at least.

I decide everyday to live to the fullest. I take any oportunity that comes my way that seems to be enriching my life and giving me a new experience (may it be fun, hurtful, beautiful, ugly, deep, easygoing and shallow, heartopening, mind opening or whatever the case may be). I learn from all those experiences and everything I do is for the purpose of personal and spiritual growth- that may include substance abuse, personal relationships or foreign cultures.

I truly enjoy my travels and love my life right now, I hope you feel the same about yours. It may be very different to mine, and there lies the beauty in it.  Diversity is a good thing, lets start not judging people and their choices, stop hating, start embracing, ya´ll. YOLO. (I´m honestly digusted with myself that I just used that term. If I had used hashtags too, I probably would ask someone to shoot me now.)

... So that was my own little private declaration of freedom. Have to go, busy sipping on an ubudian organic latte.

I have been in Ubud now for a couple of days and I am overwhelmed with the beauty. Bali is 90% hindu, yet the religion here is a very special form of hinduism, influenced by animism. Ancestral culture and the traditional believe in spirit and ghosts is still practiced here in everyday life. Sacrifacial offerings for example are to be seen everywhere. They put flowers (mainly frangipani, champaka and lotus) in a very lovely arangement into banana leaves and put them infront of the houses, on the street and infront of all the many shrines and temples. The scent of flowers is in the air, the sound of dabbeling water from fountains is a daily soundtrack.

These past days I stralled down the market, bought shitloads of presents since they are selling the most wonderful essential oils here and I hiked through the ricefields which are to be found everywhere outside Ubud, the scenery is unbelievably beautiful! Of course I got lost in the jungle and went off track- I find that flaw of mine becoming a quality though since I get to see things I would never come across if I stuck to the roads and paths suggested. :) I totally enjoy being alone for a while. Not talking to anyone and just following my gut where to go is meditative to me. Pure piece and bliss. On my way through the rice fields I met a couple of farmers who turned out to be the sweetest people. I like to get to know people on a different level, talking to them not for economical reasons („buy this, very cheap my friend, special price for you!“) because to me this is getting to know the culture and the country I am in. In India for example I ended up talking to one of the girls selling jewelry on the beach- I turned her down but offered her to hang out with me anyway, she ended up telling me about her life and how her parents arranged her marriage when she was 14 eventhough she is secretly in love with another boy. It´s just those stories of those individual people I love to hear, that is much more worthy to me then any sightseing one can do.