Dienstag, 2. April 2013

Letting go


This week has been sort of an emotional rollercoaster for me. When I strained my ankle I was forced to slow down and take it easy regarding my practice and bouncing around through my days as usual literally speaking which was a piece of work for me. My body healed quicker then expected though (I´m sure all the support and caring from so many lovely people here did some magic on the healing, too!)
I was still glad that I „had“ to extend my stay on the bay. She just seems to not let me sneak out every time I try and I am more than happy to follow her demand since this is one of the places for me that make me want to stay „just a couple of days more“ and then a couple more, and more...
It takes some time to really get comfortable all around and settle in, make this actually a home. And when that is succeeded, its impossible to leave.
So this week seemed to be packed with the lesson of „letting go“ and „not having expectations“. Last time I was here I partook in an Ayahuasca-Ceremony and although I had a lot of respect before doing it and I was actually scared as hell to do it, it turned out to be one of the most sincere, profound and fulfilling experiences I have ever had in my life. (true dat, I´m such a drama queen but it´s actually just like that.) They say, Ayahuasca is the mother spirit, working on the mind-area, Peyote in contrary is referred to as the grandfather, focussing on the heart-area.
When the opportunity was presented to me to participate in a Peyote-Ceremony this week, I took the chance. It did not turn out the way I wanted it to, but I guess that´s exactly what my lesson was supposed to be. (so, yeah, no further story about a hallucinogenic experience at this point, sorry babes).
Some personal situations showed me to stick to my truth and actually speak on it, even if it wont make a difference (but it always does) So after being a cry-baby for 2 days, wallowing in „why do I travel alone and why am I so lonely and why am I the saddest girl in the world“ I decided to turn it around into something positive and communicated my thoughts and feelings to the people they referred to. Weight/off/shoulders/big time.
- Oh hey, world changing news- I cut my hair. I´m such a unicum now, I have an undercut.






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