A Picture speaks a thousand words

A picture speaks a thousand words, they say. I don´t think pictures speak louder then words, but
they definitely speak for them self.
Lately my camera has become my significant other, I took her almost wherever I went and
sometimes just even went somewhere to take photos. Street-photography and people shots appeal
the most to me, even though it´s one of the hardest kinds of photography and I basically don´t know
shit about it. I have always loved to observe people. I basically am that weird girl sitting in a cafe or
on a park bench, observing people passing by and wondering what they are about. Taking pictures
of people I most of the time don´t know is really exciting to me. I found myself
creeping around, hiding behind my camera Homo-Faber style and trying to get a shot of people I
found interesting- Most of them were immigrants, homeless people and Children.
I decided to pursue my passion for writing and photography and take it to the next level, so I will
sign up with MatadorU (world wide biggest online travel magazine) for the online travel journalism
course. YEEW! I know that I am at the very start and have to learn so much more about
photography and writing since I am just an amateur with a passion so I can´t wait to get the course
started. I think I have quite fine intuition for a good photograph, but there is definately a huge lack of technical knowledge and equipment so throughout the course I want to focus on learning alot about technical stuff, use of light and getting more depth into my photos through knocking out the background f.e. etc.
So none of those are perfect, but no one has ever improved by withdrawing and hiding in the closet, right?

Most of my facebook friends who follow me probably know some of those photos already, but
since I have got readers from all over the world from Serbia to Bosnia to France to Australia, Indonesia, the
USA and UK to Libanon and Iran (The Internet and its reach is a crazy little thing!) I will post them up here
to share with all of you guys.
At this point I want to say thanks to all of you who read my blog, it really means a lot to me and
every click and/or comment makes me more than happy!
Also I want to thank my producers, my family, god and my fans also, without you I would not have
made it. - I´m just kidding but seriously, thank you. I will shut up now.

Girl playing with doll in the streets. Could have watched her forever, too cute to be true.

She is loving the attention now. Such a little tease

Her name is Vila, she is a beggar I regularly converse with. She usually asks for supplies from the supermarket and I´m happy to get them for her. Cheeky business lady right there. Coolest gold teeth also.

Immigrants. Child with special needs and teddy bear.

The mother gave me permission through eyecontact to take a photo of them. The little one didn´t even seem to realize what I was doing, she was posing in proud silence.

She. Has been my dearest friend for 18 years and always will be.Truly beautiful inside and out.(Insert violins playing)

Another one. Melancholy suits you well!

Squeezebox. Tourists love him, he loved the camera.

The antithesis of freedom

Lately I have been thinking a lot about freedom and what it actually really means (to me).
We all want to be free, right? To be free is one of the essential human desires. Free from any kind of suppression, free from addictions, free from (false) believes, free from social and cultural standards and free from fear.
Then again there is a bunch of stuff that seems to keep us from freedom, like financial issues,
co-dependant inter-personal relationships, society, legal rules and rights and our own mind also, for that matter...(our mind often is a crazy little fuck-head that´s  trying to lie to us and feed our fears.)

What does it mean to be free? Is it that money that allows us to live our life how we´d like to? Is it that confidence that allows us to act and shape our lifestyle and path how we want it to be? Is it our alleged free will? Is there a free will at all? Okay blah, this is getting way to philosophical and out of reach here...
What does it take for you to be and feel free?

What´s clear is, that fear and addictions definitely prevent us from being free. Fear and addictions trap uns. They prevent uns from growing and living a happy, satsfied, fullfilled and free live. Fear and addictions are the antithesis of freedom. 

There are more obvious fears and addictions like fear of bugs, fear of barking dogs and fear of heights or addictions to drugs, adrenaline and sex. Other fears and addictions are less pronounced though, less obvious. Like fear of loss and rejection or addictions to work, love and self-affirmation.

So where is the line here? When does one have just a really good work-ethic and when is one addicted to staying busy? When does one have an open heart and is an lover of life and when is one addicted to be loved by everyone around them? When does one just simply enjoy a good glass of wine four times a week and when is one an alcoholic?

There comes a double-standard also pretty easily along. Doing yoga on a regular level and eating organic, but lighting up that cigarette an hour later. Loving family, friends and lovers unconditionally but then subconsciously expecting them to love you back the same way. Considering yourself an honest person but then lying to your professor about that essay you didn´t finish on time... (but hey, I really didn´t feel good at all and there was just nooo way I could fight that flue! >Insert nervous laughter< ...)

It is not even a goal of mine to be a do-gooder. I like some of those vices and I would be bored if I lived based on a standard to be truly free from everything that´s considered a vice. Life is short, so let´s go have some fun, you guys. But I think it is important to work towards a form of living that is the most healthy and benefitial for us. Whatever makes you happy and doesn´t harm anyone else. So I do want to quit smoking for example, at the latest when I´ll be grown up (don´t raise your eyebrows, I can see that), and yes sure, I do try to eliminate all of those fears that are just rocks in my own way. But also, the main thing is to just be aware of all of them and let them be. Well some of them, some really just don´t...

Awareness gives you control back into your own hands. Right where it belongs.

So yes I will go to uni and finish up my studies instead of running away to some beachy country I´d rather be in, I will work my ass off to make some dimes instead of joining a commune and living an ostensible live free from social standards and I will not allow my mind trying to tell me what I should be afraid of or addicted to.

(And when that´s done, I WILL run not away but towards some beachy country, let me promise you that!)

seems like my glass just got poured with some wine, so I have to go enjoy that, totally free of course.

- Lots of Love to everyone

Maybe, Baby

Possibilities, possibilities...let go of all of them.

They are everywhere. Every person you meet is your potential new friend or lover. Every thing you see might be your potential new possession. Every place you hear of is your potential new destination. All those people could be your potential new friends and lovers. All those things you see could be your potential new possessions. All those places could be your potential new destinations. But really? It´s like there is too many trees to actually see the forest, right?

It´s an amazing gift for our generation (at least for us blessed kids living in 1^st world countries) to have almost all the opportunities out there in our hands. We can become anything we want, is it a lawyer, is it a carpenter, is it an artist? We can go everywhere we want to go to (time and money always can be managed if you really want to and are willing to work hard) …. In fact, so many doors are potentially possible to be opened, but with that gift and freedom comes a burden also- How to chose? How not to get lost in all those possibilities?

I know this sounds like a spoiled brat „oh my gaaawd I could have anything I want because money just totally is not a problem and I could go anywhere because, oh boy, who needs to go to university or have a job“ – Just to be clear: That´s totally not what I mean and it´s definatley not realistic nor true, but you guys are smart and know what I´m trying to say here, right?

Our grandparents had to fight for everything they wanted to become and/or have. Some of them even could not chose their significant other (I know many can´t today either but I´m talking 1^st world luxury problems here). 2-3 generations back, going to foreign countries or deciding on their dream job was a far away dream maybe, the problems they had were much more within reach and in front of them caused mainly by political circumstances. Us in contrast, we have to find our way through the jungle of possibilities and alleged options. Everything happens so quickly, doesn´t last long and is replaceable.

Isn´t it just easier to buy a new lamp instead of fixing it yourself? Isn´t it just easier to break up with your boy/girlfriend instead of working on the relationship and try harder to make it last? Isn´t it just easier to leave and go somewhere else?

I´m not saying I do any of those things and I´m not saying, I don´t. I`m just letting my mind flow and talk about something that definately is reality for many of us. Us, The 80ies and 90ies kids. The maybe-generation. (oh lord, the maybes are a totally different subject I´m not even getting started on it. Just eliminate ALL maybes. They are pure poison and leave you with nothing. Say yes and say no. that´s it!) Keep on dreaming though. Actually, keep all the maybes! Oh well. Maybe the maybes should be kept anyway, maybe. ha.

So I´m suggesting: Let go of all those possibilities and see whats actually in front of you and inside you. Anything in there? Hello?

When I was traveling for example, I got into this mode at some point close to the end of my journey, where I thought I wasn´t fulfilled and was looking for more. More stimulation, just more of anything, just something different... searching and searching, all those opportunities... Where to go and who to go with... I just wanted to leave this place and go somewhere else. Silly me. Because looking for something else on the outside must be changing everything inside, right? ;)

It drove me insane and at the end of the day I got humbled by the ocean and figured: Sometimes, actually most of the time, it´s better to not take all this too seriously because then you´re focusing on everything you COULD be and COULD have, instead of being aware of the reality and being right in this moment right in this place right in this state of mind. Truly present. Being present is a present. Words are funny.

That doens´t mean that we should not change something if it doens´t make us happy. Fucking break up with her/him if it´s not right, fucking leave if this place doesn´t give you what you need, fucking change your habits and point of views if you don´t like who you are. But don´t get carried away with all those potential options. Its like stock market. Its potentially there, but it actually is not real, its temptation, distracting you from right this moment you could actually enjoy and make the most of.

Pardon my french btw. Long story short: If it seems like there is too much of everything, limit it down and you will have more to yourself and to share!

A quote from one of my favorite films ever, “Mr. Nobody” (Jaret Leto please marry me and make me a dozen of babies):

“We cannot go back. That´s why it´s so hard to choose. As long as we don´t choose, everything remains possible.” Dear Mr. Nobody, you are damn right. But really, are you right though?

Amen. Shalom. Chill on lovers.